I will miss you, my friend.
I will miss that every time I get home you’d greet me by the door with your tail wagging and ready to kiss me once I acknowledge your greeting. I will miss the time where I would call your name while you’re lying on your favorite spot and you’d never come up to me unless I had food, and you would just stare me with those eyes, those pleading eyes that the whole family loved about you. I will miss your smell, annoying and foul as it was, I will miss it because it is you. I will miss the time where after I do the dishes, wash my face and brush my teeth, you would get up from where you’re lying and look at me as if it was your queue and know that you will be fed soon and that you’ll go outside to have your bathroom break. I will miss chasing after you and coaxing you to get out under the dining table when it’s bath time. I will miss cleaning up the floor because you weren’t able to hold your pee anymore.
There will be no one to clean up after, no one to chase before bath time, no one to laugh at when you did something amusing, no one to feed after washing the dishes. There will be no one to bark and let everyone in the house know that someone is at the door. There will be no one to look after the house whenever we’re away. There will be no one to call whenever I’m paranoid and scared when I realize that I’m alone in the house and when I do call you, you will show up and look at me as if to say that you’re there and you will never leave.
All that is left is just pain and a heavy heart. I will miss you so much, Axl. You weren’t just a beloved pet, you were part of the family, a loyal friend who gave unconditional love even if you got scolded because you did something wrong. I am so sorry if sometimes we took you for granted. I am so sorry if you had to feel the pain yesterday morning and that it was too late for you and there was nothing we could do to ease your pain. I am so sorry for not taking you to the vet sooner.
I will never forget your cry that early tragic morning, it will forever haunt me as it was the first time I heard you cry like that, you never cry, you always whimper. Your cry was full of pain and it pained me so much to have heard that from you and all I could do was just cry and put you in a safer place. You peed yourself while you were lying down, twitching and having seizures, and all I could do was clean you up and put my hand on your chest to check if you still have heartbeat, and you still have, it was pounding fast and knew I had to get you to the vet as soon as possible but it was too late. All they can do was put oxygen to help you breathe and an IV. You were to be observed first but you were already tired and could not go on anymore. I cried when I saw you on the table, your chest no longer heaving. All I could do was touch your face and put my hand on your chest because I do not want to believe that you’re really gone. I am so sorry, Axl
Thank you for always being there for us, for me. Thank you for being with us and loving us without expecting something in return. I am so sorry we let you down. I am sorry if I wasn’t there for you on your last breath and that I wasn’t able to hold your paws and tell you that it’s gonna be okay.
I love you, Axl. I love you so much. May you rest in peace, my beloved pet and loyal friend. Goodnight, and goodbye.
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